Sometimes I just feel like spilling my brain. I hope someone will be around to mop it up.
Friday, March 21, 2014
Thursday, March 13, 2014
You Have 2 Cows...

TWO COWS
by Matthias Varga
SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbor.
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.
SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows. You borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, feed sheds, dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds.
You still only have two cows.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and market it worldwide.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the shit out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive...
by Matthias Varga
SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbor.
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.
SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows. You borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, feed sheds, dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds.
You still only have two cows.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and market it worldwide.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the shit out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive...
Monday, February 24, 2014
Fast Forward
I'm reading Gone With The Wind for the third time, and I've reached the point in the book where Scarlett has discovered the expanse of dead and dying Confederate soldiers in the train yard at Five Points. In the movie, this was a famous scene just because of the crane shot that zoomed back from Vivien Leigh to the Confederate flag flying over the yard.I had been resisting, but today I got out the DVD (I have the 70th Anniversary Box Set in the red velvet box), and plugged it in thinking that perhaps I would watch just up to that point. But Gaby came in to watch with me, and we wound up watching the whole movie.
I probably only noticed this because I'm reading the book, and the chapters in the book are several pages long and only really cover one plot point at a time, but the movie is actually pretty fast paced. That's not something I'd expect to say about a movie that's more than three hours and forty-five minutes long, but they really did cram a lot of story into those four hours.
Meanwhile, back in the book, Melanie has been in labor for three chapters, and she's not going to have this baby till I get back to reading, which won't be until tomorrow. Sorry, Mellie.
Monday, January 27, 2014
Tilting at Windmills
About a year ago, David Green, the founder and CEO of Hobby Lobby Stores, Inc., published a letter saying that, because of the onerous requirements of the ACA, he may have to close his business. Hobby Lobby has over 500 stores in 41 states, and it is very popular here in the center of the country, so naturally it will be missed if they go out. The problem centers around the ACA's requirement that insurance policies provided by employers must include coverage for emergency birth control. Hobby Lobby asserts that the birth control methods that will be covered cause abortions (the medical industry refutes that), and that they should be allowed an exemption based on the owner's religious beliefs. Lower courts have all ruled that as a for-profit company, religious exemptions that would be given to a non-profit religious organization, such as a church, would not apply to them. The case will be going to the Supreme Court, but a District Court Judge has given them a reprieve while the case is pending.
Mr. Green's letter makes the rounds on Facebook, and I see it fairly frequently. Last night it popped up on my newsfeed, posted by an old co-worker who I like to keep in touch with. In the last few months, she's gotten more into identity politics, and her posts have reflected that. Sometimes I'll say something about a particular post, but not often. On this one, though, I had a piece of information that had cast the case in a new light for me, and I felt it was worth sharing. All along Mr. Green and his supporters have been presenting their point of view as a religious liberty issue. Yet in 25 of the 41 states they operate in, the state laws require the same coverage for birth control as the ACA. So why now? Why this law and not the others? To me, this says that the case is less about religious liberty than it is about anti-ACA partisan politics. But that's just my opinion, and I'm less inclined to give you my opinion than I am to tell you about the information I have that led me to my opinion, so that's what I did.
The only thing was that I wasn't sure I had stated it correctly, so I started hunting for a couple of my sources to make sure of my numbers. While I was doing that, my computer made that ♫baLUNG♫ sound it makes when someone has responded to something you've posted. I checked, and one of my friend's friends had had responded with "Ron: that is bs or their lawsuit wouldn't have reached the Supreme Court." Now, I love a good discussion, and I was pleased that someone was trying to start one, but his comment was only an opinion and no substantiation, so it was a slow start.
I continued my search for the data I was looking for, and discovered that, yes indeed, my numbers were wrong. I also snagged a graphic from a youtube video to illustrate part of the info. Then I used all that to correct my original entry, and make the point a bit stronger. Then I remembered that I had also seen an article in the Journal Record about some plans that Hobby Lobby had for the future, and I had to look that up as well. In doing so, I found that there were a lot of other articles on the same theme. My comment: "Also, about a month after the above letter came out, May of 2013, The Journal Record reported that HL bought a huge piece of property down by their headquarters in 2012, and had announced that they intended to build some massive warehouses. Subsequent issues reported some other business expansions they were planning."
His response: "Are they not free to acquire property? What is your point? They are a family owned business, they can do as they please with their assets." And, of course, he's absolutely right.
I conceded, "It could have no relevance. The incongruity of the 'we're closing' and 'we're expanding' messages just struck me as interesting. But of course, they should plan for a positive future."
He went on: "The "government" has a lot of bearing on whether private companies will be coerced to pay for things they religiously object to, Obozocare being the present topic." He then changed the subject entirely. "I would love to see this edict forced on Muslims."
Only I didn't realize he'd changed the subject. I thought we were still talking about private companies being coerced to pay for things they religiously objected to, and I thought it was an opening to explain why Hobby Lobby wasn't having much luck in the courts. So I said, "Or Jehovah's Witnesses. Imagine if your boss was a Jehovah's Witness and he had to provide health care plans that paid for blood transfusions. Wouldn't that be awful. Or if he was a Christian Scientist and had to provide a plan that paid for, well, doctors."
He said, "Don't change the subject."
Huh what? "That is the subject."
"Your buddy is a Muslim and so he excluded them."
*Sigh* Okay, so he gets his news from chain emails. So many places to go with this, but I decided to focus on the exclusion bit.
Now, all the fact checking sites have done treatments on this. Snopes gave it a "false" rating, Politifact.com gave a Pants-on-fire rating, and Factcheck.org expounded on why it wasn't true. So it would be easy to just post a link to any of them. But, when possible, I prefer to go to the original. I said, "Show me," and posted a link to the online version of the ACA.
Then he did something that both surprised and pleased me. He posted a link to the above mentioned Factcheck.org article. It surprised me because I wasn't expecting him to concede anything, and here he is posting a link to an article that completely refutes what he just said. It pleased me because he put up something that was more than just an opinion. But he also decided to close the conversation at that point. "I don't have time for you fella. Have a blessed life."
I work nights, as you all know, and it was getting late in the evening and events of the day had prevented me from going to bed. So I was glancing at the clock and trying to find a way to gracefully bow out of the conversation. His decision to leave was welcomed, but only because I was getting tired. "G'nite," I said, then happily went on to other things.
Following the Supreme Court's decision on the Hobby Lobby matter on June 30, 2014, the New York Times published an editorial that I found expressed my point of view perfectly. I copied it as a blog post here.
Mr. Green's letter makes the rounds on Facebook, and I see it fairly frequently. Last night it popped up on my newsfeed, posted by an old co-worker who I like to keep in touch with. In the last few months, she's gotten more into identity politics, and her posts have reflected that. Sometimes I'll say something about a particular post, but not often. On this one, though, I had a piece of information that had cast the case in a new light for me, and I felt it was worth sharing. All along Mr. Green and his supporters have been presenting their point of view as a religious liberty issue. Yet in 25 of the 41 states they operate in, the state laws require the same coverage for birth control as the ACA. So why now? Why this law and not the others? To me, this says that the case is less about religious liberty than it is about anti-ACA partisan politics. But that's just my opinion, and I'm less inclined to give you my opinion than I am to tell you about the information I have that led me to my opinion, so that's what I did.
The only thing was that I wasn't sure I had stated it correctly, so I started hunting for a couple of my sources to make sure of my numbers. While I was doing that, my computer made that ♫baLUNG♫ sound it makes when someone has responded to something you've posted. I checked, and one of my friend's friends had had responded with "Ron: that is bs or their lawsuit wouldn't have reached the Supreme Court." Now, I love a good discussion, and I was pleased that someone was trying to start one, but his comment was only an opinion and no substantiation, so it was a slow start.
I continued my search for the data I was looking for, and discovered that, yes indeed, my numbers were wrong. I also snagged a graphic from a youtube video to illustrate part of the info. Then I used all that to correct my original entry, and make the point a bit stronger. Then I remembered that I had also seen an article in the Journal Record about some plans that Hobby Lobby had for the future, and I had to look that up as well. In doing so, I found that there were a lot of other articles on the same theme. My comment: "Also, about a month after the above letter came out, May of 2013, The Journal Record reported that HL bought a huge piece of property down by their headquarters in 2012, and had announced that they intended to build some massive warehouses. Subsequent issues reported some other business expansions they were planning."
His response: "Are they not free to acquire property? What is your point? They are a family owned business, they can do as they please with their assets." And, of course, he's absolutely right.
I conceded, "It could have no relevance. The incongruity of the 'we're closing' and 'we're expanding' messages just struck me as interesting. But of course, they should plan for a positive future."
He went on: "The "government" has a lot of bearing on whether private companies will be coerced to pay for things they religiously object to, Obozocare being the present topic." He then changed the subject entirely. "I would love to see this edict forced on Muslims."
Only I didn't realize he'd changed the subject. I thought we were still talking about private companies being coerced to pay for things they religiously objected to, and I thought it was an opening to explain why Hobby Lobby wasn't having much luck in the courts. So I said, "Or Jehovah's Witnesses. Imagine if your boss was a Jehovah's Witness and he had to provide health care plans that paid for blood transfusions. Wouldn't that be awful. Or if he was a Christian Scientist and had to provide a plan that paid for, well, doctors."
He said, "Don't change the subject."
Huh what? "That is the subject."
"Your buddy is a Muslim and so he excluded them."
*Sigh* Okay, so he gets his news from chain emails. So many places to go with this, but I decided to focus on the exclusion bit.
Now, all the fact checking sites have done treatments on this. Snopes gave it a "false" rating, Politifact.com gave a Pants-on-fire rating, and Factcheck.org expounded on why it wasn't true. So it would be easy to just post a link to any of them. But, when possible, I prefer to go to the original. I said, "Show me," and posted a link to the online version of the ACA.
Then he did something that both surprised and pleased me. He posted a link to the above mentioned Factcheck.org article. It surprised me because I wasn't expecting him to concede anything, and here he is posting a link to an article that completely refutes what he just said. It pleased me because he put up something that was more than just an opinion. But he also decided to close the conversation at that point. "I don't have time for you fella. Have a blessed life."
I work nights, as you all know, and it was getting late in the evening and events of the day had prevented me from going to bed. So I was glancing at the clock and trying to find a way to gracefully bow out of the conversation. His decision to leave was welcomed, but only because I was getting tired. "G'nite," I said, then happily went on to other things.
Following the Supreme Court's decision on the Hobby Lobby matter on June 30, 2014, the New York Times published an editorial that I found expressed my point of view perfectly. I copied it as a blog post here.
Friday, January 17, 2014
Vocabular Economistics
This story came up in my Facebook newsfeed today. It's a parable involving an economics professor at a local college who has a disagreement with his student's belief that Obama's socialism can equalize America. He decided to conduct an experiment in the class to illustrate "Obama's plan." No evidence is given that such a plan exists; I suppose we are just to assume that it does for the sake of the story.
His proposal was that all grades in the class would be averaged, and everyone would receive the same grade. The results were that at the beginning the grades were fairly high, but they got progressively worse and worse as incentive was reduced. No one was happy with the outcome. And the moral of the story is that "socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great, but when government takes all the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed."
This is followed by five overly obvious statements that are supposed to be the lessons you should learn from the story, which inspire the educated reader to respond with, "Yeah. And?" There's no explanation given as to why this pertains to any of the President's policies, or the policies of anyone in government, at all, or that it has anything to do with current events. I suppose we're just to assume relevancy for the sake of the story.
But the biggest problem with the story is simply this: The experiment does not illustrate socialism. The experiment illustrates communism, which is an entirely different animal. This is something that any economics professor should know. So why didn't this one? I'm guessing it's because the author didn't know much about economics himself. (Apparently, he doesn't know much about governmental policy, either. I'm guessing the assumptions above have something to do with identity politics and epistemic closure.)
If the professor wanted to illustrate socialism using grades, a better way would have been to point out that when they were younger they received their grades through an agent of the state (a teacher), who worked for a government agency (the public school system), which was paid for by the community using taxpayer funds.
Now, notice that one does not preclude the other. The teacher could still average the grades while being paid with taxpayer funds, so it is possible to be communist and socialist at the same time. It's also important to note that there are several different kinds of socialism. The one I wrote about above is called Democratic Socialism (the taxpayers have a say in how things are done), and it's a normal part of our American culture, coexisting with our capitalistic economy. But one has to assume that the author of the story has Marxist Socialism in mind. Paul Krugman gives a pretty good explanation of why Marxist Socialism doesn't work in his book "The Conscience of a Liberal".
I could go on. The story shows a fundamental misunderstanding of liberalism, income redistribution, welfare, etc. At the bottom, you can click on a link to a previous posting, at the end of which are the "outraged comments" from "the left." There were actually more comments from those who supported the message of the story than not, and few on either side made much sense in real life. I also noted that "the left" is spoken of as a unified force, equal and opposite to "the right." If I kept writing, this would eventually turn into a book, and I'm just not ready for that.

His proposal was that all grades in the class would be averaged, and everyone would receive the same grade. The results were that at the beginning the grades were fairly high, but they got progressively worse and worse as incentive was reduced. No one was happy with the outcome. And the moral of the story is that "socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great, but when government takes all the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed."
This is followed by five overly obvious statements that are supposed to be the lessons you should learn from the story, which inspire the educated reader to respond with, "Yeah. And?" There's no explanation given as to why this pertains to any of the President's policies, or the policies of anyone in government, at all, or that it has anything to do with current events. I suppose we're just to assume relevancy for the sake of the story.
But the biggest problem with the story is simply this: The experiment does not illustrate socialism. The experiment illustrates communism, which is an entirely different animal. This is something that any economics professor should know. So why didn't this one? I'm guessing it's because the author didn't know much about economics himself. (Apparently, he doesn't know much about governmental policy, either. I'm guessing the assumptions above have something to do with identity politics and epistemic closure.)
If the professor wanted to illustrate socialism using grades, a better way would have been to point out that when they were younger they received their grades through an agent of the state (a teacher), who worked for a government agency (the public school system), which was paid for by the community using taxpayer funds.
Now, notice that one does not preclude the other. The teacher could still average the grades while being paid with taxpayer funds, so it is possible to be communist and socialist at the same time. It's also important to note that there are several different kinds of socialism. The one I wrote about above is called Democratic Socialism (the taxpayers have a say in how things are done), and it's a normal part of our American culture, coexisting with our capitalistic economy. But one has to assume that the author of the story has Marxist Socialism in mind. Paul Krugman gives a pretty good explanation of why Marxist Socialism doesn't work in his book "The Conscience of a Liberal".
I could go on. The story shows a fundamental misunderstanding of liberalism, income redistribution, welfare, etc. At the bottom, you can click on a link to a previous posting, at the end of which are the "outraged comments" from "the left." There were actually more comments from those who supported the message of the story than not, and few on either side made much sense in real life. I also noted that "the left" is spoken of as a unified force, equal and opposite to "the right." If I kept writing, this would eventually turn into a book, and I'm just not ready for that.

Monday, January 13, 2014
Thursday, January 2, 2014
What's Good for the Goose...
Devil of an argument
THIS week I wrote about a battle over religious monuments in Oklahoma City (great town, by the way—vastly underrated). The short version: in 2009 Oklahoma's legislature passed a bill authorising the placement of a monumental version of the Ten Commandments on the grounds of the state capitol building. The bill specifically stated that the monument be modelled after one in Texas that the Supreme Court found constitutional in a 2005 case called Van Orden v Perry—a nice shot across the bow from the bill's sponsor, Mike Ritze, in advance of the inevitable constitutional challenge.
That challenge came last year, courtesy of the Oklahoma chapter of the ACLU. They did something very clever: instead of suing in federal court and claiming an Establishment Clause violation, they sued in state court, and asserted that a religious monument on public property violates a section of the Oklahoma constitution, which is far more strongly worded than the federal version. The state constitution says: "No public money or property shall ever be appropriated, applied,donated, or used, directly or indirectly, for the use, benefit, or support of any sect, church, denomination, or system of religion, or for the use, benefit, or support of any priest, preacher, minister, or other religious teacher or dignitary, or sectarian institution as such." The case remains in pre-trial litigation; I believe discovery has not yet started. The two sides will likely file for summary judgment early next year (there is no factual dispute to hash out in court), and I don't want to hazard a guess on the outcome.
Yet in addition to the ACLU's challenge, earlier this month the Satanic Temple, a New York-based outfit, said they too would like to donate a monument to be placed on state grounds. The logic is sound: if Oklahoma wants to put privately-donated religious monuments on state grounds, it should not be allowed to prefer one faith to another. Here I will hazard a guess: Oklahoma will not allow a monument to Satan on its statehouse grounds, no matter how "public-friendly", regardless of the Temple's desire to make it "an object of play for young children."
For better or worse, Oklahoma has constitutional backing for both decisions. In Van Orden v Perry, the court ruled that "the Ten Commandments have an undeniable historical meaning", and that "simply having religious content or promoting a message consistent with religious doctrine does not run afoul of the Establishment Clause." It also held that the placement of the Ten Commandments matters: you can't put them in classrooms, but putting them on the capitol grounds "is a far more passive use", and therefore acceptable. That was a narrow 5-4 ruling, but Stephen Breyer sided with the majority, and Sandra Day O'Connor, one of the nays, has been replaced by Samuel Alito, who is likely to side with Oklahoma. In rejecting the Satanic Temple's offer, Oklahoma can cite Pleasant Grove v Summum. There the court unanimously ruled in 2008 that just because a municipality displays one religious monument—as it happens, the monument at issue was of the Ten Commandments—does not mean it must display monuments donated by other faiths, such as Summum, or indeed Satanism
Those two cases are about as on point as anyone could hope for. Unfortunately, taken together they render the Establishment Clause utterly hollow. As the much-missed John Paul Stevens notes in his Van Orden dissent, the purpose of Ten Commandments monuments is to proclaim that "[t]his State endorses the divine code of the 'Judeo-Christian' God." Among America's earliest European inhabitants were Christians fleeing religious persecution; thus, any Christian monument could be said to have "an undeniable historical meaning", and so by Van Orden's logic be acceptable. But monuments to Islam, Buddhism or Hinduism? Sorry; Pleasant Grove says we don't have to. This is an end-run around Jefferson's "wall of separation". It simply cannot be what the Founders envisioned or intended.
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