How the Weekend Panned Out

It's six in the morning on a Wednesday. I've had the last two nights off, for which I am grateful. Much of last year my weekends were split because of my counterpart's school schedule and other availability problems. This is the third week in a row that I've had two days off together, and I've been making the most of them. The biggest problems, as usual, are sleep and computer, both of which can really screw up the way I use my time.

This morning I've been up since 3:30, and I've spent all of the last three hours on the computer. I cleaned out my message page on Facebook and my email inbox. Some of what was there became the previous blog post.

I didn't expect to be up this early, and I'm still in my pajamas. I'd like to get dressed and go work on the projects I've been busy with this weekend, but I don't want to wake Gaby. If I wait till the sun comes up I won't have to turn on a light to find my clothes, and I can be quiet enough to let him sleep.

We weren't been very happy with each other yesterday, but to explain why requires a bit of background.

I own some ancient cookware, some of which is at least thirteen years old, and it was cheap stuff to begin with. Naturally, much of the non-stick surface is worn away. He says it's because I use metal utensils (which I do occasionally, but not often enough to warrant concern), but I believe it's because they're old and cheap.

Recently we aquired some new expensive cookware, but they are rarely used unless the old and cheap ones are dirty. Overnight, while he was asleep, I made some mashed potatoes in one of the new expensive saucepans because I couldn't find the old and cheap one that I really wanted to use. Our potato masher happens to be metal, but it has no sharp edges and I used it carefully, and then used a plastic spatula to scoop out the potatoes.

As soon as the sun was up, I threw myself into a woodworking project that I'd been wanting to get to for some time, and while all of my mental and physical energies were being thrown into this project, he came out to complain about my use of that saucepan. Naturally all he got from me was a blank stare because I didn't know what he expected me to do about it while I was completely engaged in something else. He then came out with one of our cheap but brand new frying pans and attacked the surface of it with a metal fry scooper. That was uncalled for, and I could have said something about it, but, as I said, I was busy.

When I got to a stopping point, I came in for lunch, and checked Facebook. He had posted about how difficult it was to live with someone who didn't care about what he cared about. That's ridiculous. Not caring and completely disagreeing are two different things. I typed back, "Not guilty." He later deleted that post.

I spent the rest of the afternoon working on my project, and was pretty pleased with how it was going. I had one setback, but it was easily fixed, and I discovered that I was out of paint, so I had to go to Lowe's. When I got to my next stopping point, I was starving. It was at that moment that he asked me to fix the window on the front of the house.

He pointed out later that I could have said no. And he was right. I could have told him how hungry I was. I could have told him that we didn't have all the materials we needed, and that I didn't want to spend any more money at Lowe's or the time or gasoline it took to get there. I could have just told him I had other plans. But I didn't, for two reasons.

First, we have a different approach to things. He wants something done, I want it done well. The result is that I will put things off until I have the time, the resources, and the mental focus to get it done. (This is a form of procrastination common to Frustrated Perfectionists.) He, on the other hand, has too much time on his hands, and I was a little afraid of what the result might be. (I was mad enough that I actually said something to him about this where I wouldn't have normally. He was a bit offended.)

Second, and most importantly, I didn't want to give him more ammo for his "he doesn't care" rant.

On top of that, we were running out of daylight, and if we were going to do it, we had to do it right then. Ultimately the project came out just fine. We worked together, and we were very pleased with the results. It just needs some paint.

Later I found this on his Facebook:

Gabriel Guerrero-Savage
According to psychologists and psychiatrists, it is healthy to gripe about the things that bother you with your spouse. Things about him or her that makes you feel unappreciated, etc. They say it's better than keep [sic] them to yourself because that can get you physically and emotionally sick. Then you start hiding thing from them and growing apart. But they don't say what's next after you have griped! hehehe

2 people like this.

Saúl Peña The "cold shoulder" maybe?

Gabriel Guerrero-Savage Yes Saúl, I'm afraid that's what we got...

Saúl Peña Things will go back to normal real soon. Don't worry. It's part of the process.

Thing is, I wasn't giving him the cold shoulder. I was just preoccupied.