I have one reason, and one reason only (so far) for unfriending someone on Facebook, and that is that they don't post enough to be interesting. I don't unfriend everyone who fills that description, for there are other reasons to keep in touch with people, but I won't unfriend someone who I don't agree with, or even someone I don't like much, as long as they keep me entertained and are willing to talk to me. That being said, I do keep my finger on the delete button when it comes to specific comments. And I have rules to help me decide what to delete.
My friend Bobby has been a person of ideological persuasion, but some of his recent Facebook posts have hinted that he wants to move toward a more empirical approach to understanding the issues of the day. This pleases me, but as he is new to the process, he doesn't always know where to look. The comments he posted were some quotes from some people with rather fringe ideas, which he explained as an effort to understand the political roots of the movement. I don't believe he's going to find that understanding on the fringe.
He didn't quite violate the first rule, which is "The comment must have something to do with the post," but it did have the potential to move the conversation away from the subject, so once our discussion re his comments was over, I deleted it, lest someone else get involved.
My friend Jason is a special case. He's on a journey which I've already been on. I came out all right, but there are several places he could wind up at the end, some of them good, some of them worry me, but he's got to make this journey on his own because his circumstances are unique to him, and he's dealing with a lot. (I'm sorry if I'm being cryptic about this, but it concerns a subject that I don't discuss on social media.) Unfortunately, Jason's comments can sometimes invite abuse, often because they can appear abusive in themselves, as Gaby pointed out to me last night. But when I can help it, I don't intend to let anyone abuse him. If one wants to argue the merits of his comment, that's perfectly alright, and you are certainly welcome to ridicule his poor spelling and grammar, but remember, my finger hovers over the delete button, and I can make it all go away.
Good post. You're right, I don''t know where to look. Even worse: My geography offers benefits aplenty, and empirical data on many subjects. Humanity in a broad sense is not one of them, due to scarcity of humans. But I've met a lot of them before I moved here, and I can't really think of one who isn't composed of a mixture of "things I don't like" and "things I like", which is how I see myself as well, so it seems fair and objective. I don't want to be categorized as an ideologue; that is, I don't want to be seen as what most people think of when they hear that word, because I'm not. I am not driven by one, single idea that gives me my identity and is the measure of all things. I can't hate people, and don't. I don't always like people. One thing about the whole social media community is interesting to me more than anything. A lot of folk'll more eagerly step boldly into ideological arguments they know nothing about, be zealous to an extreme, never try to understand why so many people disagree. And they get nasty or priggish much quicker. But not everyone. What I do have is reading; a lot of it. I'm examining my beliefs about every thing which can't be taken on genuine authority or is just evident to people who are not insane (i.e. the sky is generally blue,and we breathe it). Social issues are intertwined with my belief in God more often than I'd like, but I can't make God go away or mix his words up. I'm finding that behaviors and people who behave is a hard distinction for a lot others to "get". Maybe I'm a heuristic truth-seeker. I don't expect to find 100% of it, but I know right near the top of commands I have to try to obey is "love my neighbor". If I can't do that, I might as well forget about the most important one. So even though I might look in the wrong places for info about things which with I have no experience, that is one way of uncovering the truth by process of elimination. Convincing people to do me the same courtesy if they can't understand something I do takes far too much energy, and those who don't extend the courtesy on their own might not be the best friends to make to begin with. Anyway, enjoyed reading.
ReplyDeleteSometimes abusive behavior isn't meant to hurt others; it's self-abuse screaming out for help. If it crosses the line from verbal to physical, you have to do what you have to do. Otherwise, I'd try to help the person out or ignore hem if it became too intense.
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