Catharsis: Jungle Red

Our Monday night routine is to go out to The Park for the Monday Undies amateur strip show, to visit with some acquaintances, go over to Jungle Red to browse, and then back to The Park to see if anyone is still there, then home. Not a lot of excitement, but since Sunday and Monday are my only nights off in a week, I look forward to Mondays.
Jungle Red is a little boutique in the Habana Inn complex about a block away from The Park. They sell porn, greeting cards, underwear, nick-knacks, candles, tee shirts, snacks and sex paraphernalia, among other things. We don't spend a lot of money, but we do have a few items around our house that were purchased there.
There used to be a woman working there, Valerie, who we looked forward to seeing every week. She was really a lot of fun to visit with. We each shared what was going on in our lives, and she always wanted to hear the latest dirty joke. But she and her partner moved away, and she was replaced by a fellow who didn't seem to want to visit with anyone. He sits behind the counter, rarely saying a word unless he's on the phone. Sometimes he disappears into the back room and we don't see him for most of our time in the shop. (We are usually there for about 15 or 20 minutes.) We say hi and bye on our way in and out. He may respond; he may not.
So it was a surprise tonight when he came out from behind the counter, took the magazine out of Gaby's hand and said, "Get out."
My initial thought was that he was closing the shop, so I said, "Is it that time already?"
As we stepped out the door, he said, "Didn't I tell you guys last week not to come back?"
I turned around and he was standing right behind me. I could feel my face coloring. "No...?" In fact, you've hardly said anything to us, even when we were buying something. As far as I can recall, this is the most you've said to us ever.
"If you guys come back, I'll have you arrested for trespassing." He walked away and sat down behind the counter. I was too stunned to move. I wanted to ask what this was all about, but I was too bewildered to even formulate the question in my mind. "Get away from my door!" he growled. So we left.

On the way back to The Park, we tried to figure out what the problem was. Was it because we didn't spend enough money in there? Did he mix us up with someone else? Was it because Gaby happened to glance up at the security cam? What? When we got to the bar, I looked around inside for someone to talk to, but Gaby said he just wanted to go home, so we left. Not a word was spoken in the car all the way home.

As we were getting ready for bed, I asked Gaby, "When did Valerie leave?"
"Are you still thinking about that?" he asked.
"Of course."
"Me too."
We discussed it a bit more, and then turned out the light. As tired as I was, I thought I might go right to sleep, but my mind was whirling with baffled and indignant thoughts. So I got up to write this post as a cathartic measure. Now let's see if I can sleep.

I miss Valerie.

Huckabee, Santorum, Stewart, and Me

I was surfing thedailyshow.com and happened across this video of John Stewart and Mike Huckabee discussing gay marriage:

http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/tue-december-9-2008/mike-huckabee-pt--2

And this one with Sen. Rick Santorum:
http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/mon-july-25-2005/senator-rick-santorum-pt--1

Both of them spent time on the theme that marriage, from a government standpoint, is all about the next generation. This is the reason that government supports marriage between one man and one woman. Sen. Santorum, in particular, spoke about the government supporting the most ideal situation for raising a family, which is the male-female marriage. I don't agree. This is not the reason. This is merely a by-product.

The real reason that government supports marriage at all is because marriage is part of the human condition. People couple up. It's what people do. And the government supports it because the government is made up up of people who couple up. And there is something special about making the commitment to be with one person for life. Few accomplish that, but it's what most people want.
The only reason the government fails to acknowledge some marriages is simply because society doesn't approve of these two people coupling up. They can't prevent the coupling from happening, but they can legislate against the formal legal commitment, or at least refuse to grant the same recognition they would give to other couples. This attitude may not be legal-- may not be Constitutional even, but it is traditional and inculcated into the fabric of society, and so it stands. To give any other explanation is dishonest. (But society's attitudes are changing.)

I thought about this because, while watching these videos, I was thinking about my friend Suzy. At the art show this year, she introduced me to her her new husband. She was the happiest I've seen her in a long time. And I can guarentee you they didn't get married to produce and raise the next generation. They are both in their seventies. No, they got married because that's what happy humans do.

Daffynitions

Some great alternate definitions to common words:
Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
Gargoyle (n), olive-flavored mouthwash.
Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.


Here are some new words created by changing, adding or subtracting one letter. Look for these in future posts:
Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.
Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
Karmageddon (n): its like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
Glibido (v): All talk and no action.
Dopeler Effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.
Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.