So, I took a day or so to process my feelings over the election. As many of my friends know, I posted a lot of political things over the last year. And yesterday morning, I woke up in tears. I was so sick to my stomach I couldn’t function most of the day. Some of you are probably thinking, “Come on. Seriously. Why all the drama?” Why should I be so upset, right?
You are obviously different from me. I read all the well-meaning and positive comments about unity and hope and praying for our new president (all of them, by the way, written by my white friends). I tried to put everything into perspective. I made a list of what I felt I had in my favor to feel hopeful for the future. I am a “past-her-prime,” deliriously happily married Christian white woman who doesn’t have to work for a living anymore, with a nice home, a healthy family, a few cars in my garage and the ability to travel and concentrate on my hobbies in a state so safe that a lot of people don’t even lock their homes. What do I have to be so worried about?
My ancestors either came to this country in the 1600s or were already here. I am as American as it gets. I mean, I’m not a Muslim who must now fear even more for her safety, but I have friends who are. I’m not African-American with all the social injustices that come with that, but my grandchildren are. I’m not in my child-bearing years, worrying about health care, but my daughters are. I’m not Mexican-American, but my grandchildren are.
The Second Amendment was never a worry for me. In fact, I have never known a single person in my 58 years that has had to defend his or her family using a handgun or automatic assault weapon. I don’t own any guns, but I watch the news every day wondering who will be the next victim of those who do have those weapons.
I’m not young and attractive, so I don’t have to worry much about sexual predators in safe little New Hampshire, but my daughters have to worry, especially now that they have a role model in the White House. I don’t have financial issues about health insurance, but my family does. I don’t live in an area threatened by a pipeline, but my Native American ancestors call me to care not only now but for the future of a planet they treasured. No one in my family serves in the military at this time, but I have four grandsons and two granddaughters who may someday have to fight in wars started by a president who claims to love war.I was raised in an era where we were taught that Communism and the USSR (Russia, for those of you too young to remember) were our ideological enemies, a time when many people gave their lives during the Cold War to stop the spread, but now we have a president who adores their dictator.
I am not handicapped nor do I have children with disabilities, but I have family members who do and have to worry about a president who mocks those people on TV. I don’t have to depend on social programs, but I once had to depend on food stamps to feed my kids because I didn’t make enough money as a teacher in Oklahoma to take care of my family as a single mom, but I’m sure billionaire, white privileged, private-schooled Mr. Trump is going to correct that problem. With any luck at all, Social Security will only supplement our income, if it survives at all now in a totally Republican-controlled government, but my father counts on it. I could go on and on.
So, I guess, overall, I really shouldn’t be upset, right? The deck seems to be stacked in my favor. I mean, the Lord is in control, right? But the one thing all of us had better remember is that God gave us free will. When we make choices that run counter to His plan for us, we often suffer the consequences of the bad choices we make and the ones made by others.
I cry because I believe with all my heart that my family is going to suffer a great deal from the free will of white America, which decided that a man like Donald Trump should be the leader of the free world, a man whose every word points to a less free world for everyone different from me.
Julie Anderson, a former Edmond public school teacher New Hampshire
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