TPTTs and Other Zombies

TPTT = Too Pretty To Tip. These are the (usually) young ladies who seem to believe that their youth and beauty exempts them from the conventions of polite society. As the valet holds the door for them, they flash a smile, and with earnest eyes and voice say, "Thank you so-o much!" The valet, who has been standing in the cold waiting for her to finish saying good-bye to her friends, hoping that the weather will convince her that perhaps the customary $2-$5 isn't enough, watches her drive off, feeling that she wasn't that grateful or appreciative of his efforts at all.

Zombie = a walking stiff. (Of course it is. What else would it be?) Most of the time, these people just say thank you and drive off, but occasionally they feel they should offer an explanation.

Zombie excuses:
At our hotel, we normally charge for parking. Decades ago, there was plenty of parking around the hotel, but that was all lost to urban renewal in the seventies. Now there is a small lot for valet parking, which we charge to use, and a city-owned parking garage next door, which the city charges to use. I neither approve nor condemn the parking charge. It just is.
Overnight valet parking is $20 ($18.45 + tax), and event, bar, and day-use parking is $12. Organizers of events may negotiate a different rate. Restaurant parking is comped. This has nothing to do with the valets themselves. They do not collect the money, nor do they benefit from it being collected. So when a zombie says, "I paid inside," the valet hears "I have an excuse to stiff you."

We do not pool our tips. Each valet benefits from the generosity of the guests who appreciate his individual effort. When a zombie says, "I tipped the other guy," the valet hears "I have an excuse to stiff you."

Often someone will offer an apology for not having the cash for a tip. This is understandable, and we don't hold it against them. After all, we've all been there, and good intentions do count.

Related topics:
I used to deliver pizzas. There were certain addresses we knew because they never tipped, and therefore were on the NHDNT list (No Hurry-Does Not Tip.) Whenever possible, these deliveries were given to the new guys.